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An Overdue Conversation

May 4, 2012

“Hello, Felicia.”

*Felicia turns around*

“Oh! Oh. Oh my god. Hey… YOU…”

“You seem surprised to see me. Forgot about your good ole blog, The Food Ledger, already?”

“NO! I mean, no. No… I just… I just haven’t seen you for a while, that’s all. I’m sorry about that by the way. I’ve been… busy…”

“Yeah. BUSY. That’s what it is. Listen, I wouldn’t normally gang up on you like this but we have a problem.”

“…We do?”

“Yes. We do. I saw you reaching into your purse for those fancy Food Ledger personal business cards. You weren’t actually planning on handing those out, were you? Especially to that cute PR guy? ‘Cause honey, you haven’t touched me for MONTHS.”

“I was, but… I mean, I know but… But the email address is still good… ?”

“Listen, I’m going to be straight with you. We both know this isn’t working out the way we hoped it would. Writing is not your forte. There’s a reason you only work with numbers for a living. The painfully long intros, the just average explanations, the crappy attempts at conclusions…THEY’RE NOT WORKING. And honestly, I don’t know if anyone cares.”

*Felicia looks down at feet*

“…I know. You’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. I’M YOUR BLOG. Now, I’m going to make you a proposition: I’ll let you hand out those business cards with no remorse. You paid for them, they’re pretty and they should be shared. But in return, I want posts. LOTS of posts.”

“But how?! You can’t expect me to write!”

“I don’t expect you to write, I expect you to POST. You have the pictures – they’ve all been edited, they’re just sitting on your drive – just throw them up on the internet! Literally toss in one sentence. (Two if you’re feeling generous.) Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.”

“I…I think I can do that.”

“You WILL. Oh, and last thing? Those posts? You start IMMEDIATELY.”

*Felicia hangs head*

“…Fine. You’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Good. I’m glad we had this conversation. I hope to see you more often, Felicia.”

*The Food Ledger walks away*

“I’ll see you soon too, Food Ledger…”

5 Comments on “An Overdue Conversation”

  • Yvo

    I know I’m weird but I haven’t yet had a conversation with my blog… it would be the opposite of yours though.
    “You’re smothering me! Will you leave me alone? CAN I GET A BREAK?!”
    … um…

    May 4, 2012 » 11:47 AM »

  • fel

    “I know I’m weird but I haven’t yet had a conversation with my blog”

    …No, I’m preeeeetty sure that makes you a normal person. (However, if you ever find yourself having a conversation with your blog on the internet, I will read it!)

    May 4, 2012 » 11:57 AM »

  • kevinEats

    So are you actually going to start posting now? 😉

    May 5, 2012 » 3:13 AM »

  • fel

    That is the plan! Starting Monday 🙂

    May 5, 2012 » 10:21 AM »

  • Libby

    That is so creepy…my blog and I had the same conversation. Only mine is a bigger bitch and insists I write long annoyingly worded entries.

    May 16, 2012 » 4:03 AM »

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